Yeah, there has been waaaay too much drama in my life lately.

And you all know how much i despise drama...

I WAS in a good mood for quite a while, and I dreaded the day winter/fall started because sometimes i go down with the weather. It depends on how I wake up in the morning.

Which type of drama shall I start off with? Well, theres relationships, parents and other.

Lets do other because it's the smallest. A year ago, i found out my current dad is only my stepfather. My real father was a person stuck in the lonely world of drugs. Supposedly my mom saw some good in him, but it was lost because of the drugs. She ran away from him because he was becoming abusive and she made him release his parenting rights. She recently contacted him and said if I wanted to see him, I could, but he responded that he didnt want to see me, not one bit. He hasn't changed a bit. He is still a cold hearted jerk.

Parents is next. Lately, my parents (particularly my mom) have been real fuckin annoying. I've been doing good in school, and they still wont let me play games at my place. So i go to my friend's houses and play. They keep grounding me for no frikin reason. Sure, i forgot to call when I went to my friend's house, but goddamit, its my friends house, nothing is gonna happen on my way there. They grounded me for that and it was only the first time i did it. Ass. Then, more recently, i went to another friend's house, and I texted her telling her i "arrived safely". I also texted her a few hours later to pick me up at 10:30. She didnt get the message until 11:15. She blamed it on me, and I got "grounded" for that. The punishment is stupid too. I cant go anywhere until they feel comfortable enough to let me out, and when they do feel comfortable, they will drive me everywhere until they feel comfortable to let me find a ride again. GAY. HOWEVER, they will let me bring friends over. SO GAY. I hate them so much right now. I can't play video games no matter what. The bitches aren't lenient with me at all. (anger)

Last but not least, the Relationships drama. Oh boy, where to start... I guess I'll start with Nikki, my ex-gf. It was a long distance relationship. We had a very depressing relationship, although there were some good times that we had together. When I broke up with her, I told her that she should stop looking at things so negatively, and blew up at her. I regret hurting her to this day (anger and regret). I still talk to her to uphold my promise that I would visit her as soon as i got my liscence. Recently she broke up with her newest bf, and i consoled her, like any friend would. There was a part of me that wanted to date the new her, but I despise long distance relationships. They never work out, not for me at least. But she REALLY fucked up my feelings when she said, "Remember when I said it wouldn't be the same if we went out again? Well, I was right; it would be better." My heart was in a state of joy at this mutual feeling, but my mind was telling me that it wasn't willing to give her another chance, or that it was, just after i went out with another person and gave other people a chance. That made me feel so confused (anger, regret and confusion). There was more to add to the confusion though. Much more. Theres this girl in my grade I have had a crush on since 8th grade when I met her. She is really really nice. Her name's Alexa. I wanted to ask her out, but I never got the guts to do it (after being rejected so many times, it starts to get to you). That added to the confusion of my feelings. (anger, regret and confusion x2) There's also another girl I want to ask out, but I recently met her, and I don't want to jump the gun... Then, I told one of my friends that I would ask her out, but I was unclear in saying that I didn't ask her out because I didn't want things to change between us. Then she confessed that she like me in the way that I hinted, but it wasn't meant to come out like that... That added to the confusion (Anger, sadness and confusion x3)

As you can see, I'm boned. Screwed. Fucked. And I don't exactly know how all of this is going to pan out... I hope it will soon though, because all this pressure and mixture of feelings is very bad for my mental health...